It’s difficult to say when I became fascinated with the word “BRAVE.”

Being sent home from Biggest Loser created a domino effect in my life. Everything seemed to unravel at once. 

By August of 2011, I was struggling with severe depression.

For me the hardest part of the day was always in the morning. All the things that were bothering me, all the hurt that I diligently tried to sweep under the rug, would always find me in the morning. In that same place between dream and awake, between consciousness and unconsciousness, my heart took advantage of my lowered defense and forced me to deal with the emotions I never wanted to face. By the time I woke up, I hardly ever wanted to leave my bed. 

It was an eerie time in my life. 

I didn’t feel like myself.

Sometimes I still don’t.

My a-ha moment came sometime in September. I realized that sitting around feeling sorry for myself wasn’t helping me at all. I was completely miserable, yet through that pain I decided to hold on to HOPE with every fiber of my being. That though my heart was breaking, a day would come that would make all of the hurt worth it. 

I think convincing myself that my pain would serve some grand cosmic significance was the only way I got through that depression. 

So on September 16th 2011, I went to a fairly classy tattoo parlor in the mall where I work. With nothing holding me back, I gave 60 dollars to a petite, graffitied covered brunette. In return she carved the phrase “Be brave” on my left wrist. 

On the day I got permanently imprinted, I would say I was more depressed than I’d ever been. But it’s something I wanted to do for my future self.  

For the days I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed, 

for the days that required me to face hidden insecurities,

embrace frightening new experiences, 

or open my heart up to future bruises, 

I would always have that reminder on my wrist,

BE BRAVE.

See what I had to learn the hard way, is that ‘Be brave” simply means to block out all the voices in your head that tell you not to. If your pursuit is pure and noble and genuine, then there’s nothing to think about. JUST DO IT! Because more often then not, the worst-case-scenario that you’ve constructed in your head WILL NOT HAPPEN. And on the off chance that it does, it will not be the catastrophe you have made it out to be.  

If you have a dream, go after it! Life will beat you up every now and then, but it’s from that colossal ass whooping that you develop the character you need to be successful.

The scars that I acquired in 2011 have never found a way to heal completely. It’s like a disability I learn to live with. In fact, till this very day, I carry my fears, anxieties and insecurities in my back pocket. I keep them with me always because they are the core of who I am. And if wearing my heart on my sleeve means that it might get dirty or broken, then so be it! Anything is better than hiding underneath the covers from some hypothetical threat that i’ve made up in my mind.  

Opening yourself up to every God given opportunity without the fear of disappointment is nearly impossible! But if you hold on to hope and try your very hardest to be brave, you will find that a light will turn on inside of you that will never turn off. And from that internal light, you will shine brighter than you’ve ever imagined! You will wear greatness like a cape and nothing will be impossible for you. 

…It’s difficult to say when I became fascinated with the word “BRAVE.” 

I think it’s when I realized that bravery, like joy or love, is an essential part to the human experience. And that often, bravery is the sole ingredient needed to make your life legendary.