I have been doing SO GOOD the past few weeks.

So why do I still get discouraged when I look at myself?

I’m doing things I never thought possible, inspiring people to chase their dreams and working towards this goal i’ve had since I was 5 years old… but I still find myself feeling hopeless.

What it all boils down to, is that insatiable dream killing notion that I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Those words appear like a billboard behind my treadmill and as much as I try to out run them I can always feel them catching up to me.

It’s poison.

Whenever I’m at an all time high, the slightest reminder of my shortcomings can trip me up and have me second guessing myself.

Have I lost enough weight?

Am I finally normal?

How long will it be until someone sees the kid behind the fat? 

I feel like I’m getting there, slowly but surely. Right now I am stuck in this dreadful second act trying my hardest to get to my happy ending.

And that is why I am at the gym everyday. because the harder I work, the faster I get towards my goals. 

No matter how badly this sucks sometimes, no matter how loud the voices of doubt become, I am not giving up.

I will finish this.

I’m gonna prove everyone wrong

& for once, someone will see the kid behind the fat.