The newest piece of literature that i’m devouring is “The Hero With A Thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell. The book dissects what Campbell refers to as “The Monomyth” or “The Hero’s Journey.” Which he explains as:

“When A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons (gifts) on his fellow man.”

How does this correlate to a weight loss blog? Well, essentially, the Hero’s Journey is one we all take. It could be something supernatural like a mermaid wanting to be human or a group of toys breaking out of a daycare. But it doesn’t always have to be. Sometimes the journey can be a quest to lose weight, recover from addiction, learning to be single again or starting a new job. 

For the purpose of this blog, I will break down The Hero’s Journey in relation to my weight loss. What I’ve gathered is that by understanding the Hero’s journey, we can understand where we are in our own lives and gain insight as to what the future may hold. 

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THE CALL TO ADVENTURE: The hero starts off in a mundane situation of normality from which some information is received that acts as a call to head off into the unknown.

- My call to adventure (weight loss) began with The Biggest Loser. Last year, I made it as a casting finalist for season 12 of the show. My call to adventure was literally a phone call from a casting director telling me that they were flying me out to California. 

REFUSAL OF THE CALL: Often when the call is given, the future hero first refuses to heed it. This may be from a sense of duty or obligation, fear, insecurity, a sense of inadequacy, or any of a range of reasons that work to hold the person in his or her current circumstances.

- When I found out that I would be going to California, I was initially excited. Although, It didn’t take long for me to be consumed with self doubt. I became terrified. I was risking everything knowing there was a huge chance that none of it would work out. I don’t think i’ve ever felt fear like that before. Despite my insecurities, I went anyway, knowing it was worth the risk. 

The Crossing of the First Threshold: This is the point where the person actually crosses into the field of adventure, leaving the known limits of his or her world and venturing into an unknown and dangerous realm where the rules and limits are not known.

- Off I went, me and a suit case full of dreams, headed for what would eventually be known as my biggest disappointment. Thinking about it now, it seems like it was only a moment ago. I remember the strangest little things about that trip to California. What I remember most, is being told that I was going home. 

Belly of The Whale: The belly of the whale represents the final separation from the hero’s known world and self. By entering this stage, the person shows willingness to undergo a metamorphosis. The hero, instead of conquering or conciliating the power of the threshold, is swallowed into the unknown and would appear to have died. This popular motif gives emphasis to the lesson that the passage of the threshold is a form of self-annihilation.

- Basically, you have to die to begin your rebirth. When I got home from California, I  spent the first few months home engulfed in a mind numbing depression. It would have appeared that I was dead. It took a few months for me to recover and keep going in spite of my feelings of worthlessness. 

The Road of Trials: The road of trials is a series of tests, tasks, or ordeals that the person must undergo to begin the transformation. Often the person fails one or more of these tests, which often occur in threes.

- This is basically every time I step into a gym, every food temptation I’ve encountered, or every time I’ve allowed self doubt to kill my ambition. I still believe that I’m currently facing trials and most likely will for the rest of my life. 

The Meeting With the Goddess -This is the point when the person experiences a love that has the power and significance of the all-powerful, all encompassing, unconditional love that a fortunate infant may experience with his or her mother. This is a very important step in the process and is often represented by the person finding the other person that he or she loves most completely.

- I’m gonna skip the details on this one, but there was a girl. I did fall in love and it was a love unlike any love i’ve experienced before… so yeah, it was awesome.

Woman as Temptress - In this step, the hero faces those temptations, often of a physical or pleasurable nature, that may lead him or her to abandon or stray from his or her quest, which does not necessarily have to be represented by a woman.

- I’m gonna skip the details on this one, but there was a girl. I got heartbroken and my depression worsened unlike anything I’ve experienced before… so yeah, it was rough.

Apotheosis - When someone dies a physical death, or dies to the self to live in spirit, he or she moves beyond the pairs of opposites to a state of divine knowledge, love, compassion and bliss. A more mundane way of looking at this step is that it is a period of rest, peace and fulfillment before the hero begins the return.

- I feel that i’m currently on this phase now. I’ve learned from all my heartbreak and setbacks. I’ve somehow begun to master this new lifestyle and the habits that never came easy to me before. I don’t feel broken anymore. Life isn’t a struggle. It’s more like a playground. I have the confidence and the strength to build the life I want. I would definitely say that this is a period of rest, piece and fulfillment. 

The Ultimate Boon The ultimate boon is the achievement of the goal of the quest. It is what the person went on the journey to get. All the previous steps serve to prepare and purify the person for this step, since in many myths the boon is something transcendent like the elixir of life itself, or a plant that supplies immortality, or the holy grail.

- My ultimate boon is achieving my weight loss goal. It’s a little different because my weight loss goal isn’t a certain weight or shirt size, it’s just the feeling of being healthy and being happy with myself. It’s a very abstract goal. I don’t know if i’ll even recognize it when I achieve it. Perhaps I already have. 

The Crossing of the Return Threshold - The trick in returning is to retain the wisdom gained on the quest, to integrate that wisdom into a human life, and then maybe figure out how to share the wisdom with the rest of the world.

- I started my blog specifically for this reason. I’ve been blessed with a new insight to food, fitness and over all life. I feel obligated to share that with as many people as possible. I think that’s how my story comes full circle. I didn’t get on Biggest Loser, but I’ve still found a way to do it all on my own. I lost the weight on my time. I’m inspiring people on my own terms. I did it my way. And I feel there’s something to be respected about that. 

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What I find very interesting is that Campbell is able to use examples from dozens of popular myths to prove how all heroes go through this same outlined journey. Which leads me to believe that the book isn’t about patterns found in myths, but rather the patterns found in life. Sure, these were intended to be plot points for fictional stories. Yet, I’ve always believed that art is a reflection of life and life is a reflection of God. So perhaps it isn’t so crazy to think that we’ve all been wired to take this hero’s journey at some point in our lives. Some might refuse the Call To Adventure and others might dive right in, but it doesn’t change the fact that life will present opportunities for you to achieve greatness. You just have to decide how you want your story to end.  

For me, I’m glad I was brave enough to take the first step. And I look forward to Campbell’s very last stage…  

When Mastery leads to freedom from the fear of death, which in turn is the freedom to live. This is sometimes referred to as living in the moment, neither anticipating the future nor regretting the past.

How damn beautiful is that?

#bebrave

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I would say that for a majority of my life I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve a great woman. I knew in my heart that eventually I’d find a perfect soulmate and fall madly in love and experience all of the happiness that Boy Meets World promised me was attainable. I knew that love would happen eventually, I just never really thought I deserved it.

At well over 300 pounds, I couldn’t force myself to believe that any potential soulmate would ever see me as a likely counterpart. What’s funny is, I’ve been surrounded by wonderful women my entire life. Women who possess an elegance and beauty that is impossible to recreate with words.

It’s always been… intimidating.

And due to my insecurities and the on going notion that I’m somehow unworthy, I’ve allowed some of these women to treat me horribly. I’ve allowed them to take advantage of me in ways that I don’t even feel comfortable confessing now. 

HOW DOES A WOMAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A MAN?

Not all women, but a lot of women have used me to validate their own self esteems. They toy with me. They wave romance in front of me like a piece of meat with the not-so secret agenda that I will spoon feed them poetry and four syllable exaggerations that make them feel pretty. They’ll tease me, entice me, just for the thrill of knowing they can. And every time I end up with a scar that reminds me how naive I am, that reminds me just how stupid I am to think that she might have actually liked me. 

I’ve allowed that to go on for far too long.

It’s not until now that I’m beginning to understand a great truth about myself:

I’M AWESOME.

I’m a good man. I treat women with respect and genuinely care about who they are. I’m one of the few men I know who has an end game that doesn’t include sex. I like connecting. I like finding out who girls are beneath the surface, exploring the parts that sustain them when all else fades away, the bits and pieces of their personality that they feel are too lame to share with the rest of the world. I represent a minority that prefers humor, intelligence and ambition over tits, ass and abs. I am the exception by not having a standard that’s perfection, but rather understanding and appreciating that every woman has a hand crafted story that’s made her exactly who she is suppose to be. 

I’m not a rebound, I’m a catch, and a damn good one.

I’m cute. I’m kind. I’m determined. I’m a fantastic kisser and despite the serious tone I’ve created on this blog I’m actually very funny in real life.

I promise you that this is not cockiness or some backhanded attempt at narcissism. I am simply recognizing my own strengths. There is nothing vain about confidence, especially considering I’ve lived most of my life under the guise that I was unworthy or that I was some isolated beast with nothing else to do but watch the rose wilt. 

I am better than that. 

I’m a good man and it’s time I start appreciating my own worth 

because sadly if i don’t, then no one else ever will.

#bebrave

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Things go wrong… they do for me everyday.

This thing you call strength is just me highlighting good choices I’ve made.

I make bad decisions too. I contradict myself all the time it seems.

I tell myself that I’ll be strong and still make mistakes that plague my dreams 

At night, I go to a treadmill, and I yell at God in silence.

I ask him how long it will be before I get this life down to a science. 

I ask him why things go off course. Why I continue to be tested.

Why I can’t seem to get a grip on a life most people think I’ve perfected. 

At this point, I don’t know if I’m tasting sweat or tasting tears.

I don’t know if this chapter will last for months or last for years. 

I’m just trying to get to a point where I’m not constantly fighting fear

or encountering misfortunes that leave me feeling unprepared.

Here I go, running, in a last attempt to burn off pounds of accumulated sin,

to get to a finish line so I can start over again.

See, I crave rebirth, a new start from the loneliness I’ve befriended. 

Keeping hope that this horrible second act leads to a happy ending. 

Because hope is the only thing that leads me through the pitch black nights 

And perhaps, choosing hope as a guide is the only thing I’ve ever gotten right. 

Brave… what is that? A skill I have yet to ever use 

Because when a moment of opportunity arises, I over think. I over analyze. I refuse. 

What kind of hero am I? I shy away when hard times occur

and then masquerade like i’m someone who has all of the answers. 

I am just faking it until I make it. I have no idea what I’m doing. 

I just try to stay true to every impulse I have that feels worth pursuing 

And though most of it leads to situations that I eventually mismanage 

I still wear my heart on my sleeve, regardless of dress code or warnings it might get damaged.

I’m sorry. I am not the hero you once thought you saw

Even as I write this i’m clothed in layers of peculiar foibles and flaws.

But I can rise above this, I swear, just give me time.

I can break through all the walls that I’ve created in my mind. 

The fact that i’m still alive proves that God still has a plan,

that i’m part of a story that was written before my life began.

So I’ll hold on to faith, hope and love with every disappointing set back

knowing with certainty that greatness awaits me at the end of this second act.  

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