Distractions

I haven’t been working out as much. It’s not that I’m discouraged or anything. Life just got busy all of a sudden. It seems I can’t find an extra 15 minutes to spend blogging or 30 minutes to spend running. I know I need to make the time. I plan to, I just have to finish all these miscellaneous responsibilities first. 

There’s been a lot of internal conflict lately. I feel like I’m regressing back to my old habits of allowing other people to treat me like crap. What happened to me? I was so confident a week ago. I so assured that I was this new strong person. Now I don’t even know what that feels like. When did I lose that?

I’m gonna find my way back. I know I can. This dream is the only thing in my life that I have control over. Maybe that’s why I’ve felt so helpless lately. Maybe that’s why I can’t make sense of anything. I’m not doing what I’m suppose to be doing. I’m not fulfilling my purpose. 

Life will always be hectic I guess, but if I’m being honest with myself, Its probably hectic because I’m not making time for myself. 

I need to start acting in a way that will make me proud. 

I’m better than this.
.
1 week ago
 BASKETBALL DIARIES -  Ok so, right off the bat I’ll say that I’m not a great basketball player, never have been. But tonight was just about having fun. I liked that I could run non stop and not be tired. That was a huge accomplishment for me. I may not have sinked a bunch of shots or got all the rebounds, but I ran like I never could be before and that makes me proud.  #bebrave.  . High-res

 BASKETBALL DIARIES - 

Ok so, right off the bat I’ll say that I’m not a great basketball player, never have been. But tonight was just about having fun.

I liked that I could run non stop and not be tired. That was a huge accomplishment for me. I may not have sinked a bunch of shots or got all the rebounds, but I ran like I never could be before

and that makes me proud. 

#bebrave. 

.

1 week ago
Health Apps I not gonna preach Apple products like some pretentious bandwagoner whose looking for validation based on what phone or computer they have. My interest in the company is much more involved than that. I work for Apple and everyday it seems like I discover new apps and products to help with my new ultra-healthy lifestyle. For example, that 100 pushups app is what trained me to go from doing a mere 3 pushups to doing 150 in one month!  I use the Restaurants app to get all the nutritional information on restaurant dishes before I order. I think it’s helped more than any other app! I track all of my daily/weekly/monthly progress through the Lose It app. Nike+ always keeps track of my runs either on my iPhone or my Nano. [Side note, I strongly prefer the iPod Nano for runs. It comes with Nike+ on it already and fits nicely into my wrist band.] These apps really can make a difference if you utilize them often. I know there are tons of other great health apps out there. I haven’t gotten the chance to try them all out so if anyone else has any good apps, please let me know! #bebrave . High-res

Health Apps

I not gonna preach Apple products like some pretentious bandwagoner whose looking for validation based on what phone or computer they have. My interest in the company is much more involved than that. I work for Apple and everyday it seems like I discover new apps and products to help with my new ultra-healthy lifestyle.

For example, that 100 pushups app is what trained me to go from doing a mere 3 pushups to doing 150 in one month! 

I use the Restaurants app to get all the nutritional information on restaurant dishes before I order. I think it’s helped more than any other app!

I track all of my daily/weekly/monthly progress through the Lose It app.

Nike+ always keeps track of my runs either on my iPhone or my Nano. [Side note, I strongly prefer the iPod Nano for runs. It comes with Nike+ on it already and fits nicely into my wrist band.]

These apps really can make a difference if you utilize them often. I know there are tons of other great health apps out there. I haven’t gotten the chance to try them all out so if anyone else has any good apps, please let me know!

#bebrave

.

3 weeks ago
MY FIRST 5K. It’s hard for me to talk about Hannah, the daughter of one of my mother’s best friends. She died a few years ago from cancer. She had just turned 13 years old.  Damn, she was so brave. Her family too. They handled the entire ordeal with such grace. I can’t really find the words now to express how I feel about the situation… so I’ll skip ahead. This morning I participated in a 5k run for Hannah. It was my first 5k ever. I didn’t train for it. To be honest I forgot about it. But I wasn’t going to blow it off. Especially because it was for Hannah.  So I quickly stuffed some left over down my throat, grabbed a water, my head phones, my Nano, and ventured off.  For some reason I knew I would feel like a failure if It took me longer than 40 minutes. I kept repeating to myself “I have to beat 40 minutes.”  ”I have to beat 40 minutes.” I pushed, and pushed and pushed. When I was done, my Nike Plus informed me that it took me exactly 40 minutes.  I was disappointed at first. I really wanted to do better. But after doing the math, I was actually impressed. That’s about a 13 minute mile. I’ve never done faster than a 13 minute mile. So If i was able to keep up that momentum for three miles, then I really should feel proud of myself.  and I am proud myself.  I think the stigma of a 5k, running in pubic, running with runners, etc.. always scared me. Now I actually prefer it. It pushes me to keep going when I feel weak.  Hannah was probably the bravest girl I’ve ever known. I truly feel honored that my first 5k was in tribute to her.  #bebrave High-res

MY FIRST 5K.

It’s hard for me to talk about Hannah, the daughter of one of my mother’s best friends. She died a few years ago from cancer. She had just turned 13 years old. 

Damn, she was so brave. Her family too. They handled the entire ordeal with such grace. I can’t really find the words now to express how I feel about the situation… so I’ll skip ahead.

This morning I participated in a 5k run for Hannah. It was my first 5k ever. I didn’t train for it. To be honest I forgot about it. But I wasn’t going to blow it off. Especially because it was for Hannah. 

So I quickly stuffed some left over down my throat, grabbed a water, my head phones, my Nano, and ventured off. 

For some reason I knew I would feel like a failure if It took me longer than 40 minutes. I kept repeating to myself “I have to beat 40 minutes.”  ”I have to beat 40 minutes.”

I pushed, and pushed and pushed. When I was done, my Nike Plus informed me that it took me exactly 40 minutes. 

I was disappointed at first. I really wanted to do better. But after doing the math, I was actually impressed. That’s about a 13 minute mile. I’ve never done faster than a 13 minute mile. So If i was able to keep up that momentum for three miles, then I really should feel proud of myself. 

and I am proud myself. 

I think the stigma of a 5k, running in pubic, running with runners, etc.. always scared me. Now I actually prefer it. It pushes me to keep going when I feel weak. 

Hannah was probably the bravest girl I’ve ever known. I truly feel honored that my first 5k was in tribute to her. 

#bebrave

1 month ago

Amanda

“How does she do it?” I often think to myself. 

The words “Biggest Loser” on their very own incite a feverish depression inside of me, yet she submerges herself in her rejection. 

She almost enjoys it. 

For her, the cut still burns, but she never looks away. She’s never been afraid. She’s determined. More determined than I have ever found a way to be. 

I sit here wondering what it must be like to be her, to be fearless, to be brave. I sit and I daydream while she slams her feet against sun drenched concrete, gasping for enough air to form a single thought. Pounding through the pain she feels in her thighs, knees and feet. 

Her playlist is loud, but not loud enough to drown out her apprehensions.

She’ll briefly toy around with the idea of failure or perhaps even body image, but mostly she thinks of one thing: Finishing.

She whispers to herself “Just one more mile,” and fantasizes about the feeling of vindication that will wash over her when she finishes her race. 

I’m sure she’ll never know how deeply I admire her. I assume she’s too busy to care. But if the opportunity ever arose, and i felt as if I could articulate my sentiments, I would remind her that she is INVINCIBLE. I would tell her that I love the ins-and-outs of who she’s becoming and who she always was. I would say to her that during her weakest moments, unbeknownst to her, I have been quietly chanting an old cheer, quietly rooting her along. Praying for God to push the wind against her back. 

She juggles her struggles with wet nails and timeless grace and sends me a picture before she paints her face “This is me” she’ll tell the world on Facebook. “This is for you” she’ll text me before her run. “This is for me” she’ll say to herself before lacing her sneakers. 

She’s ready. And today is the day the world sees her for what she really is. 

As hard as it is for me to accept, today is the day I will be forced to let her go.

The day I must share my diamond in the rough with the rest of the world… with those who truly need her. 

Her shirt is soaked, her skin is red and her heart is stuttering in her chest.

But there’s the finish line. 

There it is. 

Right there. 

Suddenly nothing else matters. Suddenly there is a hush throughout time and space. Suddenly, without realizing it completely, she has finished her race and her journey is over. 

She grabs a water bottle and looks back at the track behind her. Swishing the water around in her mouth, she gazes at the broken pieces of cocoon that line the side of the street. Smiling, she realizes that she is free.

Nothing is impossible for her.

Nothing ever was. 

And as she recaps her experience to me with a delight I have never heard, I stay mostly silent. I smile at her achievement, I rejoice in her development, but most of all I wonder to myself once more “How does she do it?” 

I don’t think I’ll ever truly know. 

#bebrave

.

1 month ago