I often refer to my journey as a story. I’ve been doing that since I was a kid. In fact, one of the more annoying qualities I have, is an incisive knack for finding appropriate literary and television correlations for life.

I remember in high school I had this really dumb catch phrase “Do it for the show.” 

Which simply meant, MAKE LIFE INTERESTING.

If your life were a play, a movie or a television program, would you watch it?

To do something for the show was to make your life worth watching… carpe diem and all that jazz. 

But as I mature, i’m finding that life has a much deeper meaning when you refer to it as a story, because what you unintentionally do is admit that your story has an author. And if your story has an author, you can begin to trust that the future is already written and thus not needing of your excessive stress. 

The other day I drove to a gym that’s about 20 minutes way from my house. It was a cool night, so I rolled the windows down and opened my moon roof. I love doing this! I hardly ever get to because Florida’s so hot, but this night was perfect.

There’s something about resting my left hand outside my window and rolling my knuckles in the wind that makes me feel alive. 

I drove down a long country back road with my entire iPod on shuffle. Much to my surprise, a playlist of laid back inspiration songs formed without me ever skipping a track. 

At a red light, a strong gust of wind kissed me on my cheek and made me feel like I was on the right path.

It was… peaceful. 

I consider that peace the calm before my internal storm.

I parked my car and looked up at the sky through my moonroof. I felt an anxiety brewing inside of me that I haven’t felt in sometime.

You know in The Sixth Sense when they say you get really cold and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when a ghost is near? Well, true to fashion, the ghost of my insecurities appeared in my passenger seat. 

For a while I just sat with him. The music played like a background score and he just sat there looking at me for almost a half an hour. I began to feel incapable of success. Like nothing I ever did would be good enough. Like there was really no point in trying.

I thought to myself “You know what, I’ve been working out everyday this week. My body deserves a rest.” Which is true! Your body does need rest, but I wasn’t leaving because I wanted a rest, I was leaving because I got scared. I once again, let my fear dictate my behavior and I was not happy about it.

As I reversed out of my parking spot and drove through the silent parking lot, a song began to play.

“How The Story Ends” is one of my favorite songs, if only because I relate to it so strongly. So as i’m driving through the parking lot, overcome with defeat, I hear a voice sing:

“Every great story that’s ever been told has a hero that would of been ordinary, except for he endured the impossible”

I feel like I saw those words slip out of my speakers. Those words were the words I used to live by and here I am too afraid to walk into a gym. What the hell was wrong with me? I know better than that. I know that I have to bare through this sucky second act if I want a happy ending. I know that I have what it takes to be successful at this. So why was I leaving? Why was I doubting myself? Why am I still afraid of ghost?

“Come on T, Do it for the Show”

The song climaxed and I immediately U-turned on the quite country back road. I sped back to my parking spot and literally leaped out of Honda Accord. 

I walked into that gym knowing that I’ve already done the hardest part! I walked inside! Anything I did from that point on would be a win for me.

I ROCKED that gym for over an hour and walked out feeling like a champ. 

I can’t say that the perfect song will always come on and change my bad mood. I can’t say that inspiration will always find me. But what I do know is that every great story that’s ever been told has a hero that would of been ordinary, except for he endured the impossible.

We all have the ability to make our stories redemptive… we just have to want it bad enough! & I know as a certainty that the desire for greatness will get me through the horrible in-between period and lead me to an ending that’s better than I can imagine. 

Just be patient

it’ll all be worth it in the end. 

.

“I know how the story ends

& it’s good

It’s good

So much better than the way it all began

Oh but, I know it gets rough in the middle

Swimming up a stream, surviving seems impossible

But I know

that’s what makes the end so good”

.

I got a feeling that somebody needs to hear this song

#treadmilltracks #valentinesday

This was the very first song i listened to after The Biggest Loser told me I didn’t make the show. 

Of course the rejection made me upset, but I think I knew somewhere deep down that this wasn’t the end for me. 

So many times it felt like life wasn’t going according to plan, but actually it just wasn’t going according to my plan! Gods plan is bigger and better than mine ever could be. & I may not always understand it, but I faith the future will be better.

Typically, disappointment is a result of guessing the ending wrong. I thought “wow, this is my chance. This is my moment. My entire life was been building up to this. I was destined for this.” and I wasn’t. Biggest loser, like most of life’s disappointments, was just a learning experience to get me ready for something else. 

My imagination was limited. All of the hopes I had in biggest loser involved me mimicking someone else’s happy ending because i could not fathom my own original resolution. 

God is better than that. 

& while there are times that he’ll introduce new characters or story arcs that leave me feeling heartbroken, i have to understand that he has the foresight to understand the significance of every scene. That while I might rack my brain trying, I’ll never quite understand his intentions behind certain preconceved plot points.

AND THAT’S OK. 

I’ve accepted this.

I can either waste my time trying to figure out why God wrote a scene that left me distraught - OR I could hurry to the next act where things are sure to get better!

Call me delusional or naive, but in my heart I have to believe that there’s a reason for everything and that every scene of our story is intended to lead us towards a happily ever after. 

Things will go wrong but the show goes on. Don’t let the struggles of the past keep you from embracing the future, because it was designed specifically for you and it will be wonderful beyond description. 

.

“So no matter what you been through, no matter what you into

No matter what you see when you look outside your window

Brown grass or green grass, picket fence or barbed wire

Never ever put them down, you just lift your arms higher

Raise ‘em ‘til your arms tired let ‘em know you here

That you struggling, surviving, that you gonna persevere

Yeah, ain’t nobody leaving, nobody going home

Even if they turn the lights out, the show is going on”

.

#TreadmillTracks

Just Keep Running

#TreadmillTracks

#TreadmillTracks

“Sometimes it’s in an instant

Sometimes we wait for years

But it comes down to the moment when faith eclipses fear.

Your wandering is over

The other side is real

You’ve broken through

Your mountain moved

And mercy is revealed

His mercy is revealed, yeah

…Yesterday is long”

#TreadmillTracks

“Little change of the heart, little light in the dark

Little hope that you just might find your way up out of here

‘Cause you’ve been hiding for days, wasted and wasting away

But I got a little hope, today you’ll face your fears”

#TreadmillTracks

This song has quickly become my mantra.

Whenever I need to power through a workout, whenever life punches me a little too hard, you can usually find me whispering the lyrics to myself like a prayer.

Whenever I’m at my weakest, BELIEVE somehow gives me the strength to go on. 

“Everything is gonna be alright. 

Everything is gonna be alright. 

Everything is gonna be alright. 

Be strong.

Believe.”

#TreadmillTracks

“This hard knock life might make my heart break, but you ain’t gonna make no quitter out of me”

Perfect way to start my day!

#TreadmillTracks