it took all of my strength to get myself to the gym. 

I want to say that its been two weeks since I’ve been. 

I don’t know when March turned into a month long Spring break

or when that became an excuse for me to make dumb mistakes,

but I can’t stay solitary! There’s far too much at stake! 

And I refuse to let my body find all of my lost weight.

So there I was, parked outside a crowded Planet Fitness. 

The parking lot was more full than I had ever witnessed. 

“Maybe” I thought, Instead of fighting for machines, 

I could take that first step towards my 5k dream.

So I put my headphones on and embarked on the hardest run of my life:

The very first time that I would ever run outside.

I left my phone inside my car to avoid those distractions

and I ran away from the street to avoid roadside reactions.

This was for me, and all the things I thought I’d never do

and the tattoo on my wrist that I tried so hard to prove.  

It’s so completely different running on unleveled ground.  

I barely got 0.30 miles before I had to slow down.

I felt my fat weighing me down, just means I had to run harder.

I felt my fat bouncing in my shirt, just means I had to run further.

My heart got excited and my breath ran in front of me,

I spent the next hour trying to put it back inside of me.

But I kept on going, running hard, running fast.

Giving middle fingers to the stop signs that I passed.

This was a moment that I was choosing to make monumental. 

My iPod said “take chances like pictures” that couldn’t have been coincidental!

My legs were burning and I was melting in that blazing Florida weather, 

But God pushed the wind against my back, I guess to make my run better.

I kept it all together, chasing the dreams I saw in the distance 

And racing away from all of the doubt that was causing me resistance.

My heart was beating louder. It must have wanted my attention.

It did a perfect job of drowning out the doubt that was causing apprehension.

I can do this! I can feel it! Like the breeze that kissed my face.

I’m on my last lap and I can feel my body loosing strength,

But I never stopped once! I just tried to do my very best

Cause no one ever changed the world while they were taking a rest.

I see my car in the distance and I remember what I working for.

The sun cast mammoth shadows on the grass and I remember what I’m working towards.

I crank the volume up. My knees hurt, but it’s glorious

Although my mile times were awful, I’m still feeling victorious.

I get to my car. I thank God that I didn’t collapse. 

Then hear a voice in my head telling me to do one more lap.

So I did! Yeah, I always try to do more then I expect

because that’s the only way these broken dreams will resurrect.

I know I am meant for more. I know I’m not the only one

who has let fear keep them for being who they’re meant to become. 

So I’ll share the story of this run, knowing fully in my heart

That the only way to finish Is to be brave enough to start.

#bebrave

.