MY RE-BIRTHDAY Exactly one year ago today BIGGEST LOSER informed me that I would not be a contestant on their 12th season and promptly sent me home from my 8 day stay in the Four Seasons Hotel West Lake Village, California. I have since lost 80 pounds entirely on my own. This past year has been traumatic and romantic and depressing and redeeming. I survived through every flame hell threw my way only to realize that nothing in this world is impossible for me. My hope has been destroyed and rebuilt into an unsinkable ship that will guide me for the rest of my life. I’m so grateful for the prayers that God didn’t answer. So blessed to have gained such insight from such tragedy. So thankful for every high and low of this past year.   It feels like I am brand new. One of my favorite quotes is “when life gives you lemons make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.” Just copying and pasting that quote makes me smile from ear to ear, because for the first time in my entire life I MADE GRAPE JUICE! I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I’m not going to mourn missed opportunity. I will instead decide to celebrate new life. Today is my Re-Birthday and my celebration begins now. #justbebrave . . High-res

MY RE-BIRTHDAY

Exactly one year ago today BIGGEST LOSER informed me that I would not be a contestant on their 12th season and promptly sent me home from my 8 day stay in the Four Seasons Hotel West Lake Village, California.

I have since lost 80 pounds entirely on my own.

This past year has been traumatic and romantic and depressing and redeeming. I survived through every flame hell threw my way only to realize that nothing in this world is impossible for me. My hope has been destroyed and rebuilt into an unsinkable ship that will guide me for the rest of my life.

I’m so grateful for the prayers that God didn’t answer. So blessed to have gained such insight from such tragedy. So thankful for every high and low of this past year.  

It feels like I am brand new.

One of my favorite quotes is “when life gives you lemons make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”

Just copying and pasting that quote makes me smile from ear to ear, because for the first time in my entire life I MADE GRAPE JUICE!

I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

I’m not going to mourn missed opportunity. I will instead decide to celebrate new life.

Today is my Re-Birthday and my celebration begins now.

#justbebrave

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5 days ago

Monthly Weigh In

There is some slight disappointment with this weigh in. It’s hard to read the picture of my scale, but it says in black bold 267lbs. Which means I did lose 11 pounds this past month. I should be proud of that, but I’m not. I REALLY REALLY wanted to hit 265 by May.

265lbs has been my weight loss goal since I started this blog, it marks my -75 pound mark. All my goals are in 25 pound increments and slowly i’m realizing how stressful that can be. It takes FOREVER TO LOSE 25 POUNDS! 

Perhaps if I didn’t go on my cruise and I spent more time in the gym I could have accomplished my goal, but I wouldn’t have traded that experience for the world. I mean, I ran my first 5K this month! I mastered PUSH UPS! I also have spent tons of energy focusing on my internal growth, which may be even more important to me than my weight loss. 

I know off the bat that May is going to be a rough month for me. It was last May, specifically the last week of last May, that my Biggest Loser fiasco happened. It’s gonna be a tough anniversary for me considering I’m still very much obese. 

Even with that being said, I feel good about myself. I feel stronger. Somewhere down the line the Ghostbusters came in and cleansed me with a positive pink slime… I haven’t been haunted by Biggest Loser in months. It’s not even something I really think about anymore.

I’m happy with the way my body and mind has matured over this past year. Hopefully, by May 28th (the one year anniversary of my Biggest Loser rejection) I will have reached my -75pound goal. 

#bebrave

1 month ago

Some Pics from California

My first Macaroon from the farmers market… life changing. 

touring UCLA just made me realize how mediocre my college experience was…

Never do a stars tour! It’s really really lame. You learn the most meaningless facts. “and to your left you’ll see the home that Jay Leno owned in 1997. It’s currently owned by Raven Symone and roommate Sisqó.”

My favorite part of the trip was Santa Monica. I got to touch the pacific ocean for the VERY FIRST TIME!

There was something majestic about it… like I had arrived.

In retrospect, it does seem like a half point between my last trip to California for Biggest Loser and some unforeseeable point of awesome in my near future. 

I honestly Love California.

Maybe one day I’ll end up there. There’s still so much I have to do for myself first. But that would be a really sweet reward for loosing all my weight, right?

I think i’m gonna work towards that.

I mean, just looking at some of these pictures, I wonder how I ever left.

2 months ago